A few suggestions: For your front cover, the bottom half of the black circle is cut off pretty sharply so I look at the empty black shape you've created. You could move your general category pictogram inside that circle and run "Satisfaction" below it on the path of the circle... that might be nice since on your intro paragraph page, it's unclear why that pictogram is in line with the other 5 if it's a level above it and doesn't have a description below it. I wish that your intro text was a little more personal, I also think that overall, it would be clearer if you made the distinction that the inside pages might be more about physical satisfication (you were hungry, you ate, you got full) and the back is about emotional satisfaction. Is that right? I would stick with one unit of measurement (either everything is in kilocalories or everything is in calories). On your interior page where you have your large white icons, could you use a black background so the pictograms are still recognizable? Maybe scale them accordingly to the numbers within them? A last suggestion is that the large back page has the same scale of objects:page and white:black as the interior pages (it basically looks like you just scaled an inside composition to fill the larger page dimensions). Do you have more data to fill it with so the unfold can be more of a surprise? Might be interesting to do a large bar chart of all of your meals and their satisfaction levels that take you to the 14/21. Maybe the easy mac and fried plantains could then be callouts from that data? Nice to see your progress.
thanks aura! i'll post more when i'm done making revisions
I love the idea of overall satisfaction, and the emotional value of food. Right, your approach feels very logical and rational, and I think it could still reflect a more personal approach in terms of the writing in particular.Think about how a great meal makes you feel, and how you could show that. For instance, the least to most satisfying meal is a bit confusing in terms of how you implement the pictograms into the capsule shape. I'm not clear as to what they refer to.It may not be a bad idea to consider adding an additional visual element that relates to satisfaction directly.Kilocalories is a bit esoteric, and I think people generally talk about food just in terms of calories.I like that you evaluate the number of satisfying meals, but feel that you could add more depth to your graphic overall. What was in the meals? I don't get hungry reading "x number of kilocalories of protein" but the idea of "fried plantains with brown sugar" is really appealing. Detail and voice will supplement the caloric value to make this more satisfying for the viewer.Lastly, the repeated motif of the capsule shape isn't really working when you remove it from the idea of "fuel". I like the silhouttes that have the caloric value in them, and they are quite succesful. This is playful and suits the idea of satisfaction. Can you use color or solid shape here to alleviate how dependent the shapes are on outline? I think that would really help visually differentiate them.The panel with "the value of satisfaction" is interesting, and could Good work, keep pushing this, and add more detail and depth to make this suit your concept.
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